Wow. That was some hiatus. Unfortunately, in the month or so that I have not posted, I’m afraid I still have not found anything clever to say nor have I rid myself of my toxic attitude.

Last month, the short sale offer on the house was approved by both banks. Unfortunately, the 2nd lender would only agree to the offer if we agreed to pay back the full amount of the loan and give up our rights to file for bankruptcy. The 2nd would not settle for anything less than the full amount of the loan (even though as early as four weeks earlier we were quoted that they would accept as low as 20%) and since we don’t have $35,000 just lying around (and we would never surrender our rights to file for bankruptcy) we could not sign the paperwork.

So it’s another waiting game. Except this time when we get the paperwork from the 2nd lender that threatens us with a lawsuit for the balance of the loan we will have our bankruptcy paperwork in hand. Fuck us. Fuck them.

I’m just so tired. So sick. So emotionally spent. I’m tired of worrying, discussing and crying about our financial state. I’m tired of hearing about everyone else’s good fortune and feeling like it is at our expense. I’m tired of feeling unsupported and isolated and like we are at fault for the way things have worked themselves out. I’m tired of never catching a break. Perhaps most of all I’m so fucking tired of feeling sorry for ourselves.

I cannot believe today is the last day of the month already. Either January was busier than usual or I was lazier as I think I only managed to post three times this month. Between Boo, work, the hangover from the holidays, and a terrible attitude for the last few weeks it was just best if I stayed away from social networking all together.

A couple of days after getting the house listed for short sale we were pleasantly surprised with two offers. We spent the next several nights reading and signing paperwork and subsequently freaking out because of the whole signing along the dotting lines bit which ironically is exactly how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place. But we managed to get through it with only maybe one major meltdown and everything is now submitted and we’re just waiting upon the banks for their approval. ETA: 60 Days.

Maybe sometime between now and then I’ll find a better attitude and maybe even something clever to say.

We traveled down to the bank’s our house this weekend to pick up the last of our stuff and to meet with a real estate agent as a last ditch effort to list the house as a short sale.

Hopefully, it is the last time we ever have to go back. I’ve already said my goodbyes.