It’s 2010, Bitches.

Oh, thank god. Last year totally sucked and except for that whole fantastic, rainbow and unicorn filled first year of my beautiful daughter’s life, I’d be happy to never speak of the rest of it again.

Unfortunately, the banks feel differently and insist on sending at least 5 (FIVE!) letters to our house daily (DAILY!) to let us know that our house is officially in foreclosure. You know, in case, we didn’t understand it in the first or second letter or perhaps during any of the 293,072 phone calls we’ve had biweekly with the banks and the lawyers and the IRS and the real estate agents in the hopes of trying to find an alternative to foreclosure as soon as Bubba first learned that his job was eliminated.

Eleven months later and we’ve been denied of the “workout options” available to us in our particular situation. The first lender denied the deed-in-lieu because we have a second lien on the house and the second lender denied our offer for a settlement of debt that would release the lien because it wasn’t enough.

(Ironically, there is not nearly as much paperwork sent to your house explaining the specifics for why you were denied.* Apparently, they reserve the paper stock for real ball-busting. [See: NOTICE OF FORECLOSURE.])

(*Even more ironically, the paperwork sent to our house telling us that we were denied a deed-in-lieu included a pamphlet that paints a picture of how the banks love their customers and do not want to see them lose their homes and advise that if you need help you should call a 1-800 number to find out information about the several workout options that may “save your home” including short-sale, deed-in-lieu, and payoff of settlement. Totally, considerate to throw that in the same letter in which you DENY us, asswads.)

Tentatively, our house will go on the auction block in early March 2010. But I have every expectation that it will be at least another year until both banks have been fully satisfied (read: off our backs), and we can finally begin to repair our credit and faith in the “American Dream.”

All I want for 2010 is my freedom.