I wish I could say that I haven’t written about the last three weeks of this pregnancy because I have spent the last few weeks enjoying our new bouncing baby boy or girl, but, ummm, no. The baby is still a fetus and is still well wedged inside my belly, making me increasingly more and more uncomfortable, and has yet to show any sign that it will be emerging anytime soon.
For the last two weeks, I have had weekly appointments at the OB/GYN that will continue if ever until this Baby finally decides to come out. At this late stage in pregnancy, these weekly appointments are standard and largely consist of peeing in a cup, taking my blood pressure, listening to the baby’s heartbeat and answering a few questions that might offer some indication that labor is somewhere around the corner — Any spotting? No. Cramps? No. Contractions? No. Pressure? Sure, I’m carrying 50 lbs of extra human flesh. Then the doctor congratulates me on carrying the baby to full term and sends me on my way. To sit (uncomfortably) and wait. And wait. And wait.
The waiting is much less stressful, however, now that I have finally told my boss that I am no longer physically capable of doing fieldwork. Last Tuesday, after a miserable day in the field tramping over pastures, jumping over barbed wire fences and digging random holes in search of buried history, I told him that I would need to start maternity leave immediately unless he had any light duty (read: office) work for me — knowing full well that there was a “no light duty clause” written in the office policy. That day, I packed up my desk and spent the next two days gloriously plopped in front of the TV watching Maury. (Maury, I am 150% sure that Bubba IS the father!)
Although my maternity leave was started a full three weeks before we had planned, I hope to use this time to bum rush the kitchen remodel. Our plans have changed dramatically since we received a call — from someone who will remain anonymous — that squashed our initial hopes and dreams of installing one simple cabinet and calling it good. Now, because it seemed like a good idea at the time, we are in the midst of a full blown remodel that requires knocking down walls, building up new walls, rearranging cabinets and moving the refrigerator for the umpteen millionth time. Never one to do something half-assed, I fear I have taken nesting to an insane level.

