Apparently, writing a post about not spotting trumps any finger crossing. Stupid uterus.

Now that the spotting and constant feeling of internal tearing have subsided (fingers still crossed), Week 33 was — thankfully — relatively uneventful.

Perhaps the biggest revelation this week was the smack-on-the-forehead realization that I am officially tired of being pregnant. I guess it’s not the pregnancy so much that is wearing my patience thin, (because there is obviously nothing thin about me at this moment) but rather it’s the restricted mobility across MY ENTIRE BODY that is slowly KILLING me.

Because of my new found girth, common daily tasks like putting on socks or even rolling over in bed, have become quite the struggle. Neither task would be such a big deal except that because of the girth, I also can not easily reach my toes so my toenails haven’t been cut in several months weeks and going sockless is becoming dangerous to any skin it happens to come across. And I could manage to not roll over in bed except that since I now have to get out of bed 3 to 4 times a night I can no longer just quickly leap out of bed. Instead, every time I am jolted awake with the feeling of impending incontinence, I have to sort of crank my upper body up using the edge of the bed frame while rotating my legs off of the bed and onto the floor.

It’s probably for the best that I cannot move very well, because the limited mobility has caused limited visibility and from what I can still see, I am slowly turning into some sort of mutant. A few weeks ago, before getting into the shower, I noticed the skin above my boobs had become streaked with miles and miles of congregating bluish-purplely veins. Then, as I turned in disgust, I saw it. The glistening, silvery glimmer of a small stretch mark on my left breast. And then there are also these two other irregularly-shaped unmentionables that have recently, um, sprouted. . . STOP! I, nor anyone else, is to ever discuss this again.

As negative as this week has been for my self worth, there are parts of pregnancy, this pregnancy, that I’m sure I will miss all too soon — the feeling of pointy unidentified body parts jutting out of my body, waking up to rhythmic thumping on my pelvis bone from the baby hiccuping, the utmost excitement to finally meet this little person that has spent it’s entire life thus far inside my stomach — and with only weeks left (!?!@?), maybe I’m actually just a little sad this part is going to end so very soon.