The appointment today confirmed it: I am a laboring failure.
Four days past my due date and I STILL have not begun to dilate. For the first time this entire pregnancy the OB/GYN actually seemed concerned with our progress — or lack there of — and sent us downstairs for an ultrasound to assess the condition and fluid levels of my uterus. The ultrasound found that the baby and my uterus looked good but the OB/GYN recommended that we not go any longer than 42 weeks so an induction was scheduled for Tuesday, December 16.
The ultrasound also confirmed that our baby has a big, but beautiful, head. With jowls?
My cervix may not ever dilate, but at least I can cook ‘em nice and plump.
Based on the predictions yesterday, I have scientifically calculated that the majority of you think I will be in some torturous amount of labor for the delivery of our baby, a redheaded bowler without a second toe (!?!!?@). Hey, as long as it gets out soon, and doesn’t bring a 14 lbs. bowling ball to the party, I’m game.
But from the looks of it, I think the bowling ball has already been packed.
Today was a great day, passed entirely on the phone and consisting of good, hearty conversation covering everything and nothing at all the same time but most importantly distracting me from the cloud of self pity I have created and continually fluffed for myself all week. (Thanks, man. I needed that.) And now that I am less fluff-ified, there are still six of you (Brandi, Jessi, Chan, Angie, Colleen and Dad) that I still need to return calls to. Be forewarned.
This evening, Bubba and I celebrated the start of his paternity leave by going out to dinner for Thai food in a last ditch effort to spice this baby out of me. But so far, the only thing the Phad Thai and curry appears to have done is make the baby uncharacteristically restless and give me instant heartburn. But since tomorrow AM is our last scheduled appointment with the OB/GYN, it is the last chance for my cervix to prove that it can dilate or else we will be scheduling a date for when it is no longer up to my body to decide when and if this baby comes out.
Two days overdue and still no change on the baby front:
Except this new stretch mark right above the area formerly known as my belly button:
. . .
I had to venture outside today to pick up some beverages and was painfully reminded why extremely pregnant women are a rare sight to be seen in public. On my 10-foot trek from the parking lot to the store, I noticed two gentlemen loitering outside that were staring at me in utter disbelief as I slowly waddled towards the door. I was entertained by their entertainment, but tried to end the humiliation as quick as possible by waddling a bit faster and just as I was about to turn to open the doors, I swear I read the lips of one of them as he said, “oh my god, she is huge” before they both chuckled in unison. If it hadn’t taken so much concentration to walk those 10-feet, I would have been laughing with them too.
. . .
These last few days have been some of the longest days I have every lived through and I thank everyone who has called to wish us support and words of encouragement. To pass the time in the evenings, Bubba and I often wonder together about what our evenings will be like once the baby is here. The other night we made bets for whom this (overly) ripening person will look like once it (finally) makes its grand appearance. The stakes are high for this bet — whomever is right (ME!) gets to marinate in the goodness that is being right.
Vedjen
Sex: Male
Weight: 7lbs 14 oz.
Length: 20 inches
Hair color: Bald
Eye color: Brown
Earlobes: Not attached
Brows: Not unibrow
2nd Toe: Not longer than big toe
Labor length: 4 hours
Bubba
Sex: Male
Weight: 7lbs 7 oz.
Length: 19 3/4 inches
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Blue
Earlobes: Not attached
Brows: Not unibrow
2nd Toe: Longer than big toe
Labor length: 9 hours
If anyone else wants to get in on this action just cut and paste your own answers in the comment section. But you better hurry, there may not be much time. HAR!
